The “Boy”-ancy of Bamboo

The “Boy”-ancy of Bamboo

Being a mom is hard. Your kids come first, always. That means there is not a lot of room in the budget for new things for yourself and when you do get new things you treasure them. So, when your husband gets a bonus, you get new WearPanda sunglasses for Mother’s Day and the kids get a trip with mom and dad to the waterpark. My new glasses were fabulous. I loved them. My five-year-old excitedly explained to me all the finer points of my new sunglasses including the case, the bag that was also a cleaning cloth, and the lightweight bamboo frames that to quote my son “look just like real wood!”, but I didn’t care about all of that. All I cared about was that they were super comfortable and they didn’t make me look bug-eyed. Plus, the frames matched my swimsuit which was perfect for the waterpark.

Some moms go to brunch for Mother’s Day, others go to the spa, but when your little boy is ready for his first trip to the waterpark, by God, you are going to the waterpark. As we waited in line to get in, my son kept pointing out all of the rides he wanted to try including, you guessed it, the waterslides. You know the ones where you spend an hour and a half climbing what feels like a million steps to get to the top of only to enjoy the thirty second ride down? My husband took one look at the line, shook his head, snagged the baby and headed towards the kiddie pool, telling us to have fun. Guess it was time for a little mommy/son bonding time.

You ever notice your kids think everything is a great idea up until the moment of execution? That perfectly describes our waterpark experience where reaching the top of the waterslide was like reaching the third gate of hell and asking my child to leap inside. He freaked. A full-on meltdown. Good thing I had my sunglasses on as every parent at the top of the slide was giving me the evil eye. Fed up, I wrapped my arms around my screaming child and beelined towards the first available inner tube rocketing down the slide before anyone could stop us because I knew they wouldn’t be able to hear him screaming anymore once we hit the halfway mark. I didn’t take into account that I still could. With the end of the slide approaching, and my child still screaming, I realized pretty quickly that unless he shut his mouth, he was going to feel like he was drowning when we hit the bottom. Making a quick decision, I let go of the tube, wrapped one hand around his waist, and the other around his mouth to cover it for him. I’m pretty sure I looked suspicious to the attendant at the bottom, as we shot out of the slide and into the pool. The tube flipped over, and unanchored, we went flying, landing with a resounding splash. My hat, my glasses, and my hair tie were nowhere to be found. I glanced at my kid certain he would be sobbing and telling me what a mean mommy I was for making him do that. Instead, he was grinning from ear to ear.

“Mom! Mom! Can we go again?” I rolled my eyes and shook my head. Of course. After all that screaming, crying, and the embarrassing tantrum, he’d had a blast. He finally took my bedraggled state into account and his eyes rounded. “Oh no! You lost your glasses!” He started scanning the pool frantically.

I tried to reassure him. “Baby, it’s okay. They are probably at the bottom of the pool by now. We can just ask the attendant to keep an eye out for them, okay?”

He gave me a funny look. “Mom, don’t you remember your sunglasses float?” Sure enough, bobbing a little drunkenly in the waves, were my new favorite pair of sunglasses


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